Having Rhett and becoming a mom has been the most amazing experience of my life. I feel like that’s what I knew it would be because that’s what everyone tells you about having kids. And nothing has ever been more true in my entire life. I finally get it when people say that it’s indescribable, because it truly is. He is our greatest joy! Daniel and I look at him constantly in awe of God and in awe that we created the cutest human being on the planet (just look at these photos!).
But, being a mom is also the hardest thing I have done in my entire life. My achiever personality thought that was just something people said, but when I got there I would have it all figured out. Nothing could be further from the truth! I now have so much respect for every woman before me that’s raised kids, especially my mom. And to think that people do it more than once…haha!
That being said, there are things about the postpartum period that I wish I would have known and prepared myself for: some big and some small! So today, I want to share some of what my postpartum reality was in hopes that it will encourage you and other first-time moms and shed light on things that may not be openly talked about. My goal in all this absolutely not to complain (quite the opposite!), but to help other moms feel that they aren’t’ alone!
The Hormone Crash is REAL
I would absolutely not describe myself as an emotional person. I’m not sure if I’ve ever cried in a movie and I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I cry in any given year. I can honestly say that I cried more the first two weeks after having Rhett than I have in my entire life combined. I would cry and have no idea why I was even crying. I was the happiest I had ever been, but at the same time oddly sad. To this day I am not sure why “sad” is the right emotion to describe it, but it really was an odd sadness. And to top it off, I felt extremely guilty for being sad when it was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life.
My anxiety went through the roof. I was worried about everything from something happening to Rhett to whether or not I would ever feel normal again. I wish I would have been prepared mentally for this because it hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt like I was never going to come out of the hole it felt like I was in. But if you’re going through it or pregnant, I would just say it WILL get better. For me, I felt much more myself after two weeks and 100% myself after about 3.5 weeks.
Breastfeeding is no joke
I don’t know about you but all I heard before getting pregnant were the incredible fantasy stories about how amazing breastfeeding is and what a “bonding experience” it is between mom and baby. Sure, I knew that lots of women struggled with logistical aspects of breastfeeding like latching and low supply, but I thought that once you got all of that figured out you were good to go!
But I feel like no one tells you that your life will be on a constant “every 3 hour” schedule for as long as you are their sole source of nutrition. I remember feeling like I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything those first four weeks because I felt like I had to rush back to feed him. Thankfully, it gets so much easier and you totally get in a groove (I really fell into mine about week 6!), but you definitely still remain on a schedule!
And because I felt really guilty about it, I thought I’d share that I really didn’t “enjoy” breastfeeding at the beginning. I felt so lucky to be able to feed my baby with little complications (something I know not all women are able to do), but I never felt that “bonding” everyone talked about. Around week six, I really started to enjoy it and love it now!
Stir-Craziness
I’ll never forget the pediatrician telling us before we left our first appointment for Rhett just three days after he was born that we shouldn’t take him out in public until he was about 4-6 weeks old. Granted, he was born right smack dab in the middle of flu season and the illnesses going around during the winter are really dangerous for a newborn. But not being able to go anywhere for 4-6 weeks is TOUGH.
Obviously, this is a completely personal choice we made to follow what the pediatrician said (for the most part), and one we felt was in Rhett’s best interest. But for the first 5ish weeks, we ate all our meals in the car (we even had Cheesecake Factory to-go one night in the mall parking lot…haha), and we missed out on lots of family dinners, events, church services, etc.
In all, being a mom is the greatest thing I have ever had the privilege to do. I feel so blessed and honored every single day that God gave me Rhett to raise, but it has not been easy. And I’m only 7 ½ weeks in! Seeing my husband become a dad has also been one of the coolest things to watch and has grown my love for him in ways I never knew. We are learning how to navigate being parents while keeping or marriage first. Daniel is the hugest help and is constantly trying to make my load a little bit lighter…love that guy!
Overall, we are absolutely obsessed with being a family of three and I think my heart is going to explode about 500 times a day. Rhett just started smiling last week and it’s the coolest thing ever!!! I totally thought I would be sad to see him grow, but it has been the complete opposite. He just gets more and more fun, and I just get more excited to see him grow up!
Abbi Cooley took our newborn photos when Rhett was 2 1/2 weeks old.
The random crying is crazy isn’t it!? My husband would be like, why are you crying? I’d I’d be like, I don’t know! Haha- I had a girlfriend tell me before hand that it’s totally normal so I was prepared but it was still tough! There is so much about postpartum that people don’t talk about and I know this will help lots of moms to be. Thanks for sharing! Rhett is so adorable. You’re doing great, mama!
Thank you for this. I am a bonus mom to two sweet kiddos but pregnant for the first time. With little guidance I am thankful for ANY honest and help advice. ♥️♥️
Thanks so much for sharing. It makes me feel like I am not alone. I have a beautiful baby boy who is 2.5 weeks and everything you talked about is exactly how I am feeling. I literally just posted a pic on IG of his two weeks and caption was “everyone wants to talk to you about their pregnancy, labor and delivery experience but no one talks about their postpartum. It is huge that we continue to talk about it.